love me for loving you

November 21, 2008

you told me everything when your world fell apart and you could only say nothing at all. I need to know nothing that it hurts you to be lonely and not in love.

I see those weariness in your shattered mind. It’s hard for you to stand still in a world of madness.

It breaks my heart to see you in so much pain and silence. You will have to be strong and tough for yourself, but at the same time you’re too fragile to stay that hard.

I don’t know what to say to you, and that’s the truth. I see that you were a bit lost, but you were trying desperately to stay on your defense..

The whole time you were leaning against me I never knew whether you truly needed me.. you never said so, and I never wanted to believe my feeling about you.

If we ever should be parted then I should be afraid. For I’ll never get to tell you how much I actually loved you. I know it wouldn’t make any difference at all whether you know it..

don’t hold me back from loving you, I’m not scared to break my own heart. It hurts to be in love with you, but it hurts more when I couldn’t even say it.

you were so distant in a way that I couldn’t imagine how your gaze would be if I were starring at you. you stayed in your state really hard that I backed off so far. You’re so cold and closed when it comes to this. If it’s only a matter of memories, it should’ve gone far too long from now. but the fact is we’re here, listening to each other voices, interpreting ourselves with our best feeling, leaving our heart to be guessing in empty space. why do we chose to live this path? was it the only option? was I too much in doubt about you?

I know you don’t love me and I know you don’t need me at all, you only need the world to understand you and I was the only person left to comfort you. I’m not yours but I can barely go anywhere with you still there. Leave me and listen to me when I tell you that I love you. Go away and bring the fact that I love you. I’m different and might not be made for you, but I had you to know that I love you and that I don’t need you to love me. If you want to love me, love me because I love you..=]

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Q & A #46

November 12, 2008

1.Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today?
a boy lah..
2. What are you doing tomorrow?
another english class..oh how I hate morning class..T_T
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3. Who’s the craziest on your top friends?
too crazy to mention
4. Can you whistle?
yepp
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5. What are you listening to?
tv
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6. Next vacation you’re going on?
europe europe euroopppeeee ^-^ [I wish..-_-"]
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7. Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
sometimes.. every once in a while. and it’s almost always the same number..+024….
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8. When did you last cry?

a few days ago

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9. Where are you going to be at 4pm tomorrow?
insyaAllah I’ll be attending an automate class
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10. Do you and your boyfriend or girlfriend fight a lot?
don’t’ have any. my only boyfriend’s my car, and he hasn’t been around for a while..=,(
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11. Do you like coffee?
HELL YEAH..hehe
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12. What was the last thing you got grounded for?
a normal fight with mom..haha..sorry moms..:D
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13. Plans for tonight?
sleep tight with the best dream possible ^-^
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14. Who pissed you off today?
my mid-term Algebra test. arrgghhh….
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15. Do you think you will be in a relationship 8 months from now?
waaahahhaaa..I really hope so, but I can’t guarantee anything…
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16. What is your first name if you spell it without the letters “e” “y” and “t”?
still the same “aini”..-_-”
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17. Are you wearing make up?
nope…
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18. Have you had your birthday yet this year?
yea.. pisa cafe..with my closest friends..=]
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19. Where was the last place you went?
starbucks
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20. What color are the walls of the room you are in?
pink pink pink ^-^ a really warm pink that turns anyone’s mood who enters it into a sleepy mode..hahahaa
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21. How many letters are in your middle name?
nine and eleven
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22. Whats your relationship with the person you last called?
friends
23. Are you scared of spiders?
nope
24. Do you like roller coasters?
I like boys more. hahahaha
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25. If someone likes you, would you want them to tell you?
of course..
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26. How late did you stay up last night?
twelve..
27. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
yes.. directly and undirectly…=]
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28. Did you ever lose a best friend?
yes..but I won her back!!! MUWAAHHAAHHAHAHA!!! :D
29. Is your birthday coming?
not for the next 6 months..-_-”
30. What happened at 9:30 am today?
to me? well I was having my breakfast..
31. Who was the last person to call you?
a boy I merely know..-_-”
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32. Last text from?
my debate partner
33. What are your plans for this week?
eat as healthy as possible..take a good rest as much as possible..^-^
34. Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
nah..if swimming in the pool can infect my skin, I can’t imagine what damage swimming in the river [esp. rivers in surabaya] will do…T_T
35. How many letters are in your last name?
7
36. How many text messages have you received today?
eumh..
37. Who were you with last night?
myself
38. What/who woke you up today?
myself laaahh..ahahhaaha..:D
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